a headhunter's office reception area is about the most uncomfortable i have ever had to spend ten minutes.

first of all because who knows who you might bump into there- ex classmates, mere acquaintances or worse still perhaps another colleague.you already know what everyone is here for so no pretending or acting will be necessary- and these days, who doesn't put up a show? i guess maybe you could strike up an awkward conversation starting with

oh i guess your job sucks too?

if you're lucky enough not to meet anyone you vaguely remember (or who remembers you), you try to keep you eyes down and not make eye-contact with other people in the waiting area because i mean, what kind of bullshit small talk would you make?

oh i guess your job sucks too?

and of course you are the only over-dressed fools in the office- the recruiters aren't meeting clients today so they are in business casual and it's like oh my god what a fucking pretense this whole corporate bullshit.

thank goodness i've managed to avoid/not have the bad luck to come across yet the above-mentioned awkward situations in the headhunter's office reception (other than the part where i'm thinking to myself that this is all corporate bullshit but still participate anyway).

so on to the next reception area which is a space just as awkward but allows room for more imagination. This is the reception area of The NY Dermatology Group with its celeb/celeb-like clientele and swanky facilities.

the best/worst thing about meeting someone here is that you know they are getting treated for something aesthetic/cosmetic and you really want to find out so you can tell everyone that she got a nose job. but should you be rude enough to ask "oh so what are you here for?" or just pretend all is swell and ask oh how was your weekend? even though it's already thursday and you already know she was probably partying it up at pink elephant or cain.

my last visit there to get the stitches out of my newly removed cyst, i saw the french girl my friend had dated for a couple of months. she was pointing to parts of her face as she talked to the doctor and waited for her medication to be brought out and my mind was racing through the possibilities- botox to the creaselines on her forehead, laser to smooth out her complexion... doctor can you reshape my nose?
however, being the chicken that i am, i pretended not to see her and spied her through the corner of my eye from behind the magazine so i could avoid the awkward small talk that would ensue if i had gone up to say hello.

i went back to my friend the next day though and told him i saw her at THE NY DERMATOLOGY GROUP *hint hint* and he told me- oh yeah, she gets her lips injected with collagen. AHA! I JUST KNEW IT!!! NO WOMAN IS PERFECT. HAHAHA. she might have slender legs and a great sense of style- BUT WAIT- her lips are thin!

the other woman

the other woman is just that. she is the one who makes you feel inadequate once in a while or perhaps even a bit more than that; the one who makes you wonder how? and why? the one who makes your imagination run wild with the words he might have whispered in the ears that should have been yours. perhaps the other woman had a perkier butt and fuller breasts or maybe she was a fox in bed-but you mean i wasn't a vixen enough?

he says he chooses you and you choose to believe him- but how much can you trust?

i thought the other woman was a non-issue and for the most part that's what she has been-but just about once a day i see a blonde girl i don't know walking in the office and my heart skips a beat in fear that she might be the other woman.

on my first visit to the dermatologist a couple of weeks ago to check out the cysts on my leg, i smiled at the lady who was there waiting to get her weekly/monthly botox shot. she smiled back without a wrinkle on her face.

other than getting my cysts diagnosed as being pretty innocuous, the dermatologist also checked out the zit on my face and asked if i wanted some steroids to make it go away. who would refuse so i said sure. he then proceeded to fill a syringe up and i was slightly in shock because i expected him to hand me a pot of topical cream. he said "don't worry it won't hurt at all and it will make it go away much faster- all the celebrities do this right before big events and interviews." ooh now did i feel like a star!!

on my second visit i had to get a skin cancer screening which involved me being naked (save the knickers) on the examination table while the doc looked all over for moles and the like. felt very strange to say the least.

my third visit was to finally get the darn bump taken out and get taken out it did. it was my first surgical procedure ever (i have never even had stitches done before) and i am quite proud that i lived through it. the bummer is that i can't wear heels for the next week and i have to figure out work outfits for flats. :(

certain facts of life

i go to the tailor across my apt building on 14th st to get my stuff altered all the time. today i am getting a dress which is way too big for me taken in on the sides. my korean seamstress looks at my chest as she is pinning the sides in and comments "ah ...you are very flat eh!"

erm yeah, thanks for the reminder.

he bought me a book called la bella figura- a field guide to the italian mind, so that i can better understand his culture and why he is the way he is.
halfway through the book now i realize the guy i am seeing embodies every fucking stereotype of being italian. suddenly he is not as special anymore is he? he is just a TYPICAL italian man!
from his massive disorganization but obsession with cleaning and fixing his room, his justification and self-rationalization of his sins and non-sins, his hoarding habits, to the great actor that he is.

i now can literally read him like a book so everything i thought was amazing about him is simply the italian effect. booh.

it is a funny book though, and if you have italian friends, even funnier.